Weekly Headlines – 26/08/12
Unmukt Chand has lead his India Under Nineteens team to victory over Australia by six wickets. Chand, who hit an unbeaten 111 from 130 deliveries in the final, including six mammoth sixes, was easily adjudged the Man of the Match. Australia’s captain, William Bosisto, was adjudged the Man of the Tournament for his 276 runs at an average of 276 – he’d only been dismissed once in the series. Other winners included South African Calvin Savage walking away with the Most Hollywood Hero Name, Australia’s Kurtis Patterson receiving the nod for Beard that Most Needs Shaving, and Australians Ashton, Travis, Kurtis and Shane for Most Boy Band First Names [in a Squad].
India has flogged New Zealand by an innings and 115 runs in Hyderabad. The star for India was undoubtedly Ravi Ashwin, who contributed 37 to India’s first innings of 438, before taking 12/85 from 43.2 overs for the match. New Zealand’s best performer was Neil Warren, an eighty-seven year-old Kiwi spectator who, during day two’s lunch break, sneezed so hard his false teeth flew out and hit Kruger van Wyk.
Australia have defeated Afghanistan by 66 runs in their first ever ODI encounter, reaching 272 thanks to a pair of 75s to Michael Clarke and Matt Wade. Afghanistan’s reply was anchored by Asghar Stanikzai’s 66 from number three. Despite winning comfortably, Mitchell Starc – the man of the match with figures of 4/47 – lamented Australia’s problems with a ball that was slippery from dew. “Both balls towards the end were quite hard to hold onto – you’d wipe yourself with a towel and you were already sweating again,” said Starc. “Oh. Hey. That won’t appear out of context on any of those cricket humor websites, will it?”
Finally, Hampshire defeated Yorkshire to win the Friend’s Life T20 in Britain overnight. At the post match press conference, Hampshire’s captain, Dimitri Mascarenhas, said he was “still stunned at what [they’d] won” and commented that “now [he] just had to choose a friend!” He was confused at the appreciative laughter of the assembled journalists, before he read the sponsor’s tagline “Pensions, Investments and Insurance”, and stormed out of the conference, outraged.